People say that parenting is a full-time job. Yet a full-time job is defined as 40ish hours per week. I submit that parenting is NOT a full-time job. It’s a 24/7/365 job. Whether you are a working mom or stay home with your kids, you know you’re never truly off duty. There’s always a call from school saying your child is ill, and you’re left struggling to find work coverage or reorganize your day. Then there are the sleep disruptions from bad dreams or wet beds and the invisible work of ensuring the kids have clothing that fits and dentist appointments.
Parenting is simply not a full-time job. When you add a child to your world, parenting becomes your life’s work. (Which is why we love therapy for Moms in Florida)
So how on earth can we, as moms, prioritize ourselves? Society tells us that mothers must cherish the moments of struggle because they are fleeting, that it’s just how it is. Moms need to suck it up and power through because they are selfless superheroes.
Yet, we’re also preached to about the importance of self-care, that, as the airplane safety warning goes, we must put our own oxygen mask on first. Which sounds great and supportive and sensitive to the struggles of mothers. But then we’re left to struggle with figuring out how to define “self-care”, ask for the resources we need to receive/achieve it, and avoid guilt while indulging in our own needs.
Remember, you are the engine in your family, and engines need tune-ups. As with our vehicles, when regular maintenance is ignored, cars break down and leave our families, and us stranded. But just because you are the engine doesn’t mean you have to be a machine.
While it isn’t always easy to make time to prioritize your mental health as a mom, here are five simple ways to put yourself first in the new year.
Get outside
Even if you’re just sitting on your porch. From the delicious fresh air after cold weeks stuck inside to the very real impact of sunlight’s Vitamin D on mental health, being in nature can serve as an immediate mood booster. Research shows that our children’s brains benefit from taking screen breaks and getting outside to play in nature, smell the flowers, climb trees, and jump across creeks. The same is true for adults. It’s like a reset to your mood when you walk outside, greet new friends and neighbors, listen to the world move around you, and watch the clouds glide by overhead. So put down your to-do list and walk in the sunshine (or splash in some puddles in the rain). It’s the smallest pick-me up and you deserve the break.
Get in motion.
Forgo the messaging often in your face about getting back to pre-baby weight or strengthening your abs after pregnancy. The type of activity I’m talking about has nothing to do with exercise. It’s about calming your central nervous system so you can get through your day with more ease. Even 5 to 10 minutes of movement, whether walking, jogging, stretching, dancing, hula hooping, etc, can ease anxiety and other distressing emotions and serve as a natural mood booster.
Practice Setting Limits And Saying No through Therapy for Moms in Florida
As moms, we are pros at trying to do everything and take care of everyone else. In fact, we’re so good at it that we actively put ourselves last, setting ourselves up for burn out as though it’s an item on our to-do list. Trust me, I deeply feel the discomfort of having to say no or accept that I can’t juggle all the balls. Take some time each morning to tune into how much you can truly handle in the hours ahead of you. Then allow yourself to be okay, saying that you can’t do more (or even that you don’t want to do more). You’ve already proven that you can do it all but the simple fact is that you honestly don’t have to. Dishes can sit in the sink, laundry in the dryer can be tumbled again the next day, dinner can come from the freezer or even be cereal and fruit! None of these things will harm your family and can bring you exactly the kind of ease you need at the end of a busy day.
Get Honest With Yourself and Others
This means being honest about the areas where you need help, asking for it, and then accepting it. Moms often face an additional barrier in getting the help they desperately need because society asserts that we should be able to manage it all or that asking for help is weakness. But ultimately, we, as mothers, need to open up to each other, our spouses, our employers, our friends and family about our challenges. By admitting that mothering is hard we are opening to the vulnerability that we are not invincible. There can be shame or embarrassment in telling others that we are struggling. But when we admit to ourselves and others when we need help, the barriers built from stigma and shame are broken down. Your honesty is a gift to mothers everywhere because it allows them to be honest too. When mothers pretend with one another that everything is fine while the world is burning down on bad days, it’s pretty difficult to change the societal view that we can’t melt down. Getting real with one another is a form of advocacy for the mothering role.
Get Support In Therapy for Moms in Florida.
It can be challenging to get to see a therapist in person so I highly recommend exploring options for online therapy. It’s an easier way for moms to get the mental health support they so desperately could benefit from without having to move around work or skip out on school or sporting events with their children. Working with a therapist online can nearly eliminate the barriers of childcare or having to travel somewhere for appointments. Whether you can schedule an hour a week or only have time to chat a couple of times a month, talking to a therapist can help you process thoughts and feelings and ultimately make you a better mom. You can learn to be more gentle with yourself, set healthy boundaries, process grief and loss, and explore
At the end of the day, prioritizing mental health means different things to everyone and this list is more to get you thinking, to get you to remember to honor yourself and the contributions you make to your family, your household, your profession, and your community. Consider this your invitation to give yourself more grace and allowance. Use this as a springboard to seek your own unique path to discover mental wellness on your brambled journey of motherhood.
Begin Therapy for Moms in Florida
I would be honored to assist you in feeling rejuvenated and restored if you are experiencing a difficult time. I can provide online counseling to clients in Colorado, Hawaii, Louisiana, and Florida. To get started, please follow these simple steps:
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation via phone or video
Start learning how to cope with life
Other Services Offered By Ashley Comegys
I’m happy to provide various services to support your mental health. Other services offered include grief counseling, online postpartum depression treatment, online postpartum support, and online depression treatment. I’m also happy to offer military spouse therapy and online trauma treatment for women. Visit my blog or about page to learn more today!