For anyone not in the military, it may sound cliche when someone says, “When the service member serves in the military, the whole family serves.” But for those of us who are family members of an active-duty service member, we know that this saying actually rings true. As the spouse of a service member, we may not serve on the front lines, but we make lots of sacrifices in support of our spouses’ duties and responsibilities.
Choosing to marry a military service member means you are also signing up for a lifetime of changes, adaptations, and disruptions.
Birthdays and anniversaries get missed. Vacations get canceled. Dinners get reheated. Children get put to bed just by you. A permanent change-of-station (PCS) is one of the most upending struggles and disruptive requirements of military life. With this major move comes so many changes: your spouse’s job requirements and responsibilities may change, your job (if you’ve been able to have one) disappears, your support system is no longer nearby, and your house and community change! Whatever sense of stability or connection you’ve cultivated at your last post disappears as you follow your spouse to wherever the military tells them they need to go next.
Whether it’s your first PCS or your 13th, moving is hard. Change is hard.
You may have been excited in the past when you’ve moved and this time, you’re finding it more difficult than you anticipated. Or maybe this is your first PCS with your partner and you are just trying to catch your breath through this process. Maybe you’re feeling isolated and lonely at your new duty station. Either way, if you find yourself feeling on edge or feeling more sad than you anticipated, that does not mean you’ve done something wrong.
Moving is a major life change that often can bring loss
It may be a loss of community, a loss of a house that offered the comforts of “home,” or a loss of familiarity. With that loss can come feelings associated with grief. It is normal to grieve the changes you’re experiencing and the things you’ve had to say goodbye to and leave behind. Military life is not for the faint of heart. And while yes, as a military spouse, you have an amazing level of resilience, that doesn’t mean you have to keep it all together. It is okay to admit that you are having a hard time and it is okay to ask for help...because this is hard!
How Counseling for Military Spouses Can Help
Talking with a therapist about what you are feeling as a result of the PCS can be so helpful in being able to find some relief from symptoms of depression and anxiety. Your Tricare benefit will cover your therapy sessions whether you want to see a provider in person or using telehealth. There are three different ways you can access therapy with your Tricare insurance:
1. On base:
Depending upon where your family is stationed, there may be therapists and counselors available through the medical facility.
2. Seeing a Tricare therapist online or off base:
You can use the Tricare directory to search for a therapist or google something like “Tricare online counseling near MacDill Air Force Base” or “Tricare therapist in New Orleans.”
3. See a non-network certified provider:
If you have a hard time finding a Tricare-approved provider with an opening, you can search the non-network Tricare provider directory and have your PCM request a referral from Tricare for authorization to have your sessions with the non-network provider covered. You can learn more about using your Tricare benefit with a non-network certified provider here.
Begin Counseling for Military Spouses in Colorado
You deserve support as you navigate the major transitions brought on by a PCS. I understand the stress you must face, and would be happy to offer support for military spouses in Colorado, Hawaii, Louisiana, and Florida. You can start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation via phone or video
Start managing your depression and anxiety symptoms.
Other Services Offered With Ashley Comegys, LCSW
I’m happy to offer a variety of services, in addition, to support military spouses. I offer mental health support to residents of Colorado, Hawaii, and Louisiana. Mental health services offered include therapy for anxiety, online postpartum depression treatment, online postpartum support, and online depression treatment. I’m also happy to offer online grief counseling for women and online trauma treatment for women. Visit my blog or about page to learn more today!