Becoming a mom, whether for the first or fifth time, thrusts your life into a consistent cycle of change.
Whether you’re figuring out how to adjust from breastfeeding to bottle-feeding, preparing for your kid to go from Pre-K to Kindergarten, moving from a career outside the home to staying at home with your kids, or sending your teen off to their driver’s license test, the changes that present themselves in motherhood are like waves – both big and small – that never stop breaking on the shore.
Change is always happening and it’s exhausting
Sometimes, it feels like just as we are starting to get our minds around the last change, a new one comes and we have to pivot and adjust again. Change can feel overwhelming and can be a cause of anxiety in moms. As much as we may try to stop or control a change, the reality is that change is inevitable, and we don’t really have control even when we think we do. So, how are we supposed to handle change? Here are four ways to cope with change as a mom.
Acknowledge the Change
It can be tempting to want to just move forward and push down any feelings associated with the change. But acknowledging that the change is happening allows you to be open and honest with yourself about the experience and how you feel. For example, if you are a military spouse and are PCSing from Colorado Springs to MacDill Air Force Base, it can be tempting to just push forward and make the logistics of the move happen. But if that move means you are leaving behind a support system and moving somewhere unfamiliar, even for the 10th time, give yourself permission to acknowledge, “This change is hard.”
Realize That Even Good Change Means Stress
When you think about a change like moving your baby into their own room, you might initially feel elated to not be woken up constantly at night by little coos and noises. But when the night comes to make the change, you begin to feel sad or anxious, even though you can’t wait to sleep more soundly. While this may be a welcome and positive change, you may still experience stress you didn’t anticipate. This does not mean the change is bad. It is just a recognition that even with good or positive changes, it can be challenging to feel completely on board with a change.
Identify 5 Positives From the Change
When you’re in the midst of a stressful change, it can be very challenging to acknowledge the positives that may come from it. If you are returning to work after maternity leave or returning to a career after staying home, you may feel sad that you won’t be with your kiddo during the day. To help you cope, try to list five positive things that come from this change, such as getting time with other adults or helping your child to develop socially with others at daycare. Identifying positives that come from a change can help ground you during times when you are struggling.
Seek Support From an Online Therapist
Sometimes we need to process our thoughts and emotions about a change with someone outside of our social relationships. Changes can feel overwhelming and hard and making it a priority to talk with a therapist about how you are experiencing the change can help you to identify the reasons it may feel so daunting or pinpoint why you are struggling. It is not uncommon for women to feel like they have lost themselves in the midst of all the changes of motherhood. Talking with a therapist about how these changes have impacted you, whether through postpartum anxiety or generalized anxiety, can help you to find additional ways to cope with and relate to these changes.
Begin Counseling for Moms in Colorado, Hawaii, Florida, and Louisiana
Mothers face many unique stressors as they cope with change. I understand how difficult coping can be, which is why I’m happy to offer support with a variety of services via online therapy. This includes therapy for clients in Louisiana, Colorado, Florida, and Hawaii. If you’re ready to start your therapy journey, please follow these simple steps:
Schedule a free 15-minute consult via phone or video
Start finding new ways to cope with change!
Other Services Offered With Ashley Comegys, LCSW
I understand the many mental health concerns mothers can face. This is why I’m happy to offer a variety of mental health services for residents of Hawaii, Louisiana, Colorado, and Florida. Other services include therapy for depression, postpartum depression, trauma, and grief. In addition, I also offer online postpartum support, and therapy for military spouses. Learn more by visiting my blog or about page today!